Friday, November 30, 2007

especially when it most counts

That I cannot define what it is, far beyond me, free anchors, profound merriment, the conflict of curves, uncanny coincidences, the unspoken but heartfelt

To protect, to shield, to defend, to fight for - I now have too many reasons, and A reason. And in there, I have my confirmation number, but that's a story to be told for another day.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

busy busy like a bee, ranting ranting like a flea

I don't really understand why I have so much work to do. Hang on, actually, I do. It's the incredibly potent mixture of bad timing, procrastination, and poor time management. So really, I can't blame anyone besides myself, but that's not going to stop me from whinging at this point in time.

My major assignments are all due NOW, which also happens to clash with my GSCL activity (NIE community service) so my Saturday is burnt, and to top it off, I'm also moving house this weekend. How am I to finish all my work on time! I don't even have an essay topic!

(Dominic, my love, doesn't this all sound too awfully familiar)

Just another thing to add - I've been having really bad luck with taxi drivers these days. I don't know why. They just leave me behind in the dust (which caused me to be VERY late for my test), scold me for various nonsense, or cheat me of a dollar or two, the sneaky bastards. Not that I resent the extra money (maybe a bit, it still adds up), but it's the whole principle behind it, you know. At least, you could pretend that you really need the money, I will be more than happy to give it to you. But what can a dollar get you these days? How far can anything stretch you? You can't even buy hope with time, time that is worth a trillion times over a dollar. Not that one can buy time with hope either, if you know what I mean.

And hope is supposedly cheap. Who's wrong now?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

sigh

A tacit agreement to disagree, silently, used to be fine, but now, it cannot be this way.

It matters this much, because you are that important to me.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

as one procrastinates with surrogate blinkers

and the sunlight streams in, too early for tender stones, too bright for hoarse silk, I can almost taste the dewdrops on my lips, a to-be memory until the next occurrence, the next event, the next fall of rain, the next milestone. That it will come, I do not doubt, the wild card being the manner of its arrival.

That swords may cross

Would that I be able to depict the riot of colours I've lived with painted words, along with the darkened shades of previous epochs that glow and fade with each re-telling, where each reliving of it changes present perception and self.

For dead arches

The tyranny of the past has the power to emasculate, but it can also be rendered impotent when faced with the intangible promise of the sublime. Something I learn again, and again, and again. Hope in its various guises, carrying the wand of dancing fire.

That one will have it so

I live (!), not for, but in the suspended moment - in the waking dreams of the morning glory (flower) - or so it seems. Bewitched by the truth (of all things!), I am, bothered, yes, bewildered, yes, but in the best way possible. Without Pavlovian objectifying, without the ghosts of tangled cut strings.

That it is all of my own making, my very own, and I have no regrets whatsoever

Monday, November 05, 2007

but for a single drink of water which leaves you wanting more, or the seeking of immunity

The sword of anguish pierces deepest from 3.36, and it's a very strange sort of magic that plays havoc with the mind and heart, this imagined grief that turns too real after a period of drought, or dare I say, abundance.

That music moves men and women alike, that sighing appoggiaturas constrict the heart, that some things are so desperately hard to come by, one fears the reprisal of the old, new dependencies, the birth of addictions that are fast taking over, or already have.

There is so much that I have revisited over the past few days, so much that I have discovered anew, I can scarce take it in. Witnessed change, I have, shy beginnings and lowering of lashes aside, it will be the intangibles that I will inevitably try to quantify.

Which isn't a bad thing, you know - guarding never really is - it just means having found something worthwhile to protect and keep for all time.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

dripping with irony, ineffectual

It may well be my fault, but you didn't have to be a fucking bitch about the whole issue. Thanks, but no thanks.

Bitch.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

Old wounds hurt most, I learned this today, becaus...
She speaks, repeating the old litanies, of worn ac...
time skips
and it all comes together!
beethoven's symphony no.7 2nd mvt
again,
towards that something
In the alley of shadows and death
Masking Tape
another end of the world

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.