Sunday, June 29, 2008

the first week of work

and it has been exhausting. to think that this is just the breather before the real deal..! but i'm happy to be back among my friends.

she procrastinated @ 21:21 |

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

kitchen adventures

I last did that in 2006, even so, i think i am an idiot, because I forgot how to cook rice today.

It came out as sticky grainy porridge, which wasn't very nice. I think I will stick to takeaways.

she procrastinated @ 22:01 |

Monday, June 23, 2008

It's a strange thing to have all these expectations, spuriously egged on (by yourself), and have them all sink, like a very bad dinner, right in the centre of your tummy, and then, the somersault of an hourglass, these are no longer yours, but their expectations. Not stolen, for nothing can ever be stolen from you if it hadn't belonged to you in the first place. That is called a delusion, a flight of fancy, shameful naivety, or at worst, the secret lining (self-deceit) of packaged hope.

she procrastinated @ 21:46 |

Thursday, June 19, 2008

exasperated.

Over something very silly yet important. Tempted to unleash the fury within but as we all know, quick-fix-its cost the skies and above, something all too familiar, this currency of vanity.

On the next crochet, I find myself impaled on a fork that screams WORK and all my plans to meet old friends this week have gone kaput.

I could do with a social life planner, methinks. And a coffee from Nero. And a magic wand. And the brain of Charlie's.

she procrastinated @ 13:11 |

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

keeping it real, as they like to say.

It's too easy to blame my nature, as if it is a separate entity and not a living part of me. You know. 'Useless appendage.' 'Cracked glasses.' That kinda thing. Not that those are excuses, but I think you kind of get what I mean, even if I'm not saying it very well. I'm talking about thought slavery. I think.

Sometimes, the words pour out of me. Redundant, irrelevant, pedantic, as I leapfrog all around, muttering the same thing over and over again, the hoarse litany that trails off unintelligibly at the end. Whatever for, and whom to, and the unspeakable, that is a sort of a secret within a secret within a secret. Russian dolls! Fundamentally empty at its very core.

There is much that I feel today, great big globs of gooey stuff that spurt geysers of hot nothingness, for they have no form without the correct turn of phrases, without the discipline of rhythm and feminine cadences, and in this case, since there is no form, there can be no substance, for the former gives it its definition, and ultimately, its canned life.

I am feeling strange today, my friends, but not very much more than usual. Just enough for me to say it out here, and enough for me to scrawl profuse letters of _____ and _____ on the yellow walls.

she procrastinated @ 00:50 |

Sunday, June 15, 2008

dreading

so many things! but namely, the beginning of term, which commences in a week, and after that, i shall have no life to speak of.

still - i'm approaching the end of one year. five more to go. somehow, that doesn't quite make me quite as happy as i should be. should i?

i have a lot to be thankful for. i will count my blessings.

she procrastinated @ 16:23 |

Saturday, June 14, 2008

at moments like these (cue _______ )

you realize you're no longer young, but still as foolish as you were at 21.

she procrastinated @ 00:18 |

Saturday, June 07, 2008

just for fun.

Found this off a blog. Books I've read/own are in bold, and those in italics are those which I started and never quite finished/halfway. Underlined are those that have been on the want list for a very long time.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude (I have this lying somewhere, but not read) 
Wuthering Heights 
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi: A novel
The Name of the Rose (I will borrow it from Ivan, well, sometime soon)
Don Quixote

Moby Dick
Ulysses 
Madame Bovary

The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
The Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Iliad (I just bought it, not read yet)
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner (This is lying somewhere around)
Mrs. Dalloway
 
Great Expectations
American Gods (I borrowed this from Gaurav, but I've not started on it)
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
 
Wicked: The life and times of the wicked witch of the West 
The Canterbury Tales 
The Historian : a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera (I have this too, not read yet)
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault's Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange (I gave up on this book, and gave it away)
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible
 
1984 (I have this but not read, book is with Tian)
Angels & Demons 
Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (Tian's copy is with me, not yet read)
To the Lighthouse (I have it, not read)
Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Oliver Twist 
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Dune
The Prince
 
The Sound and the Fury
Angela's Ashes: A memoir
The God of Small Things
A People's History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-Five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves (About to borrow from Ivan)
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake
Collapse: How societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion

Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics: A rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An inquiry into values
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit 
In Cold Blood: A true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
White Teeth (Jess's copy is with me)
Treasure Island
David Copperfield

she procrastinated @ 18:13 |

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

I know, I haven't been around, no thanks to a major bout of fever and NIE. Thankfully, it's the death throes that are in session now, but it's still very painful and frustrating.

But I'm learning to look on the bright side of things. Something along the lines of Beaumarchais's Figaro, "I forced myself to laugh at everything for fear of having to weep." Not that I am close to being weepy or tearful or sentimental ala Richardson's Pamela, but I am distinctly not close to the other side as well. Just saying.

Whatever time I have on my hands right now is spent researching. That's right, kids, researching. For work that will land itself on my table in an unceremonious heap in a couple of weeks, hence the tomes of books and stacks of opera dvds. I am freaking out at the workload, but also, perversely excited at the prospect of surviving the killing over the next few months. Next year will be the major challenge, but it is too early to speak of it, or so I will have it be.

I feel like I am entering a cycle of personal decay. Note the choice of word 'cycle'. It is hope speaking out that things will change soon. Such sweet arrogance, but sometimes, that's all you need to tide you over. Sometimes. Doesn't happen very often though. Drumming of fingers.

she procrastinated @ 18:22 |

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

Old wounds hurt most, I learned this today, becaus...
She speaks, repeating the old litanies, of worn ac...
time skips
and it all comes together!
beethoven's symphony no.7 2nd mvt
again,
towards that something
In the alley of shadows and death
Masking Tape
another end of the world

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

"One is wicked, because one see things clearly." - Beaumarchais's Le nozze di Figaro.

And there were phlegmatic souls.