Thursday, January 31, 2008

I can't believe it's possible to be nostalgic over deleting internet bookmarks. No wonder I'm terrible at cleaning up, especially after my own mess.

I changed my mind! I don't want the 25th of Feb to come anymore!

Monday, January 28, 2008

trajectory

These days, there is too much you call yours, and too little that you mistake for your own.

I sit here, typing, typing, typing, in the rhythm of dotted hiccups, as if it can change something, when really, nothing has ever once changed for the better, unconstructive, apart from the myriad of concooted excuses whose birth denotes something far more insidious. Twisted cousin of faith, that I am wrong, that I must be right in that I'm wrong.

And hence, the carousel of feared refrains, the inevitable reworkings of tattooed burns.

I should stick to chartered waters

Thursday, January 24, 2008

the tower, ohrwurm.

It's been an extraordinary week. Full of nasty revelations, very intense stuff. The more I think I understand, the more I don't. Not that it changes anything. Taking a passive stance never does, though you do inevitably engage in woebegone mindgames (with yourself, of course) every once in a while.

But I have learned something - I now know why my dad used to buy hope every weekend. Nothing like the quadrangle of shared or common experience to bring people together, I suppose.

And there's also nothing like the former, to keep them apart.

Sprinkles of gold, I imagine, and voila, they become.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

weird shit

is happening man, and it ain't funny. But I think, or I know, I can handle it, because

thank you.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

justifying melodrama, the poisonous thrill of hated possibilities

Am I the only one who takes perverse pleasure in freaking myself out! To indulge in imagined grief! To imagine the myriad incarnations of finality! Where no more beginnings can take place, the death of all what ifs.

Such macabre sweetness lies in the creation of these waking dreams - hopefully fallow, that is. At least, my arrogant self will have it so, but then, I am hardly omnipotent.

6th of Feb is so far away, and the 25th, even further

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

warmth (despite dreary skies)

which hits you in the middle, your breath knocked out in gasps. Pinwheels on candy sticks amidst the green, spinning madly on a windy day, the molten gold momentarily blinds, and all I can think of and feel, is the sensation of exquisite silk against my fingers.

Such resplendent colours are forever etched, onto the back of my eyes.

To all my friends, whom I've managed to catch a glimpse of before you guys have made your way across various oceans to misty continents - it's been great catching up. Come back soon, please.

Just so you know, even if you don't have to - school sucks.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

Old wounds hurt most, I learned this today, becaus...
She speaks, repeating the old litanies, of worn ac...
time skips
and it all comes together!
beethoven's symphony no.7 2nd mvt
again,
towards that something
In the alley of shadows and death
Masking Tape
another end of the world

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.