i hope i'm PMS-ing.

"Great minds against themselves conspire,
and shun the cure they most desire."

I finally understand why people practise self-denial, in every sense of the word. There is a sort of perverse gratification in denying yourself pleasure (not going into sexual references this time, thank you very much), sort of a role-playing martyr. By denying yourself pleasure, you are entitled to masturbate and wallow to your own egocentric needs. Which is of course, a form of mental stimulation.

It's not just denied pleasure. Denying the truth is also valid. The sordid truth that had always been laid out plainly before you, you deliberately look at it with clouded eyes, so that all you ever see are different shades of white and grey, censoring out the dark truth. Wide eye shut. And you actually derive a twisted satisfaction from playing victim.

Should you never see the ominous shadows in its full glory, you only have yourself to blame.

I tell you what: let's play a game, and see how much more shite the Woman-Of-All-Tolerance can take. Although I highly suspect that she's gonna swallow it all down as usual, put on her glass mask, and just continue living life with milky pupils.

Since the outcome is already inevitable, I'm going to shut up n go to bed.