taking the piss.

I've been acting out the role of a triad member for the past week, complete with imaginary menacing tattoos of Chinese characters which don't make sense. Everyday, I have a staring competition with John, who lives in the building directly opposite me. At least, I would like to call him John, but his name is probably Chew Chew or something ludicrous like that. He's a dog btw, and a really cute Shi Tzu at that. Why do people give their pets the most ridiculous and demeaning of labels (I won't even call it 'names'), I don't know. I am qualified to judge and deride because my two dogs are called Bubu and Chacha, so I'm on the same derogatory level as all those people out there. Think about it - very seldom do you hear of a pet that's been given an ordinary name. You know what? I shall call my future dog Mr Doubting Thomas. And in the event that he runs away from me when I bring him out for walks, I will yell as loudly as I can: "Come back smoochie-poo-pie-honey-bunny-kins." After all, I'm a blind follower of trends. And ever-obedient - I aim to please.

I also used to have two terrapins, they were a Christmas present. Both of them were male, and I've always wondered if I had kept them long enough - would they turn homosexual due to pent-up sexual frustations? Do terrapins even get horny? They must do. I've seen them mount each other on occasion, but I didn't hear any of the pre-requisite noises, so I figured they were just trying to claim their respective rights to the middle strata of air-space in the tank. Anyway, I called them Bobo and ChaCha. What an exercise in creativity. I'm occasionally blinded by my own brightness, and it's immensely gratifying. You start thinking: "Wow, what an achievement! I'm so capable." Then again, I was a gauche kid of 18 years, what could I possibly know, besides Newton's Third Law, and the sad and misplaced faith in the concept of 'forevermore'? But I suppose there's no excuse good enough in the world to justify lameness in its purest form.

What I really wanted to say today, is that the best panini ever invented has to be the All-Day Breakfast from Pret A Manger, or Caffe Nero. Egg, bacon, sausage - you can't really go wrong with them. Like how you can't go wrong with Verdi or Mozart. That's all from me for today, folks, have a good day.