Sunday, September 23, 2007

hollow words, i hope not

I find it extremely difficult to motivate myself to do my homework, especially when I know that it is completely useless (apart from the pressing need to pass), and a fucking waste of my time. I don't mind reading academic papers, I'll be more than happy to, but only if they are on topics which I have an interest in, or agree with.

Yang'en and Dominic always take me to task for being childishly stubborn, always wanting things done my way and nobody else's, but I don't think I'm really as tyrannical as they make me out to be - I don't think I'm asking for much. All I want to do is to learn and progress in a manner that I deem fit and best for myself.

The lesson here to be learnt is not about learning how to fit in, or bowing down to the system, hierarchies of power and what not. It is a question of surviving the next few months with my sanity intact, exerting the necessary discipline to maintain the painful facade of vapid interest in the things that I have to do (repeat: impossibly dull, violent objections, vehement disagreements with ridiculous concepts, time-wasting, brain-cell reducing), for the sake of financial security, to chase an elusive dream whose name I am beginning to forget.

But remember it, I shall, and as such, I concede this round. But I promise to emerge victorious at the end of it all. In the grand scheme of lofty long-term goals - what is a paltry year worth? Ah, my teeth are clenched so hard that I can hardly speak.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

little skeletons that dance in the closet.
the priestess.
capriciously testing the limits.
familiar strangers.
before i walk out of the door to secret destinations
After I pull an all-nighter, I always promise myse...
gentle ripples.
the things you remember.
irritated.
before i lie awake in bed.

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.