Friday, September 24, 2004

again.

Oh boy, I'm back in London again!

Returned to the student hall I used to stay in (Canterbury Hall) and this time I got an ensuite room. Yes, it costs much more to have a private bathroom and yes, I'm spoilt. And you know what? I think someone up there is telling me I'm too spendthrift and I'm being punished by having a neighbour who blasts techno and rock all night long.

I'm going to take revenge by blasting Strauss's Elektra tonight.

That aside, it's totally weird being back. To some point, I feel like I've never left. That my 3 months of summer in SG was a vivid fantasy of my own construction and creation. I can recall what I did back home, yet I can't believe I lived the way I lived. My memories are all in sepia print.

Walking down the Strand from King's to Covent Garden, up and down Russell Square, good ol' Safeway at Brunswick Centre... Even the shop where I normally buy my calling cards is unchanged. And I've forgotten how deceiving the weather can get. It's brilliantly sunny today BUT it's also freaking cold. Had to run back to the halls to get an extra sweater.

There are a few jarring changes which leap out at me: I look fatter in the toilet's mirror *sobs*, the Dept Secretary has retired with a new grouchy woman in place, Tesco's Express seem to have sprouted like mushrooms overnight, they're all over!

And of course, the number of 'plus-sized' women is overwhelming. I feel much more comforted when I stand next to my Brit mates. Here, I'm petite! Ahahah! For once, I get to be thought of as small.

I'm deluding myself of course, but hey, we all need bewitching illusions in our lives to keep us happy. Chocolate, crisps, ice cream and weed works too.

I do miss home. It's suppressed by the daily routines of life, but it lingers still. Like an ulcer, a festering blister that never gets any better. There isn't any medication for it, so I'd have to learn to ignore it, and hopefully, it'd go away with time. Time dulls everything.

I've also been trying to avoid triggers of home. My Pictures folder in my laptop is one danger zone, and I can only briefly glimpse at my Rod Stewart CD before my vision clouds over.

There's no escaping it though. I look at a particular pair of white earrings and painful visions from the past are unwillingly summoned. Even listening to the CD that Selena gave me (It's Jerry Yen's latest album) evokes bittersweet longings. For all good memories are now contaminated with the fervent yearning for home.

I'm sure this is just the first few days of adjustment, I should be alright in no time. Looking forward to the start of school! Did I mention I only have a two day week? Tues and Thurs. And I end school by 1pm everyday. Not too bad huh. *grins*

Going to college now, wearing a pair of impractical high heels but those are my only covered shoes. Did I mention that it's freaking cold today??

Missing all of you.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

farewell.
end of UK visa saga.
Things have been pretty busy lately. But first of ...
I know I always complain abt my 2 dogs, Bubu (Jack...
"Ring-a-ring-a-roses,a pocket full of hoses,a-tish...
ongoing visa saga.
Had tea with a friend today, and he inadvertently ...
of days gone past.
i need to gripe for a bit.
I'm still there.

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.