Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I'm a graduate!

I LOVE EVERYONE FROM KINGS and I had such a great night out! Nothing beats graduating with your best mates and partying the night away after. It was absolutely brilliant, wicked (and scandalous!) fun tonight and I LOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday, July 23, 2005

london, here i come!

Sorry, I promised photos from the last Harry Potter outing with Yee Chong and Weilin, but I haven't had the time to upload them. I'll do so soon, they're really really pretty. As in my friends, not the photos!

Anyway, I've got my MOE sponsorship to do my Mmus!!! This means I'm going back to London for another year! -squeals- I'd be with Jo Vinny Danny and everyone once more! Yeay! [Oh, Jo and Jess are back home! -SHRIEKS-] I don't know if it's going to be a partial or full scholarship yet, but whichever the case, it's better than nothing and I can't tell you how relieved I am.

I can't blog for long, cuz I need to start packing for my convocation. Oh, for the uninitiated, I'm leaving for my convocation in London tomorrow, and I'd be going to Prague and HK too. I'll be travelling with my Dad for the next 3 weeks, which means 'all expenses paid' BUT I doubt I'd be able to shop, you know how Dads are. But never mind, as long as I can see all the museums and watch all the concerts in Prague, and eat all the tim sum in HK, I'd be a happy girl!

Anyway, I hope there won't be any more blasts or any.. destructive happenings in London, especially when I'm there. (You guys know how sway I am *touchwood*) And everybody, feel free to give me a shopping list! Nothing too pricey or heavy. So far, I'll be buying Lush products for Yee Chong, something for Weilin, Walker Sensation crisps for Selena, Sainsbury's Quad.Choc cookies for Mrs Wilson/Ms Leong, KCL prospectus for Betty. I should have some space in my luggage, so just drop me a msg if you want anything.

Last of all, happy birthday to Lenny! Okay, so your actual bday is days away, but I don't care. "You'll always be my Tenay!" -sparkling eyes-

End of ditz post. Over and out.

Bye everyone! Mwahh!

Saturday, July 16, 2005

I'VE GOT THE POTTER BOOK

I think Yee Chong and I were approximately the 19th and 20th Singaporean to have laid our hands on the Half-Blood Prince. Yes, we were at Borders waiting for the release of the book at 0701hrs. Unlike the uninformed Muggles who kept joining the snaking queue at the foyer, we happily made our way to the cashiers inside where they were virtually empty. Even had time to eat breakfast. So much for people camping in Borders with sleeping bags just to queue up for their book, I bet I got the book before them. Yes, I take unabashed delight in life's little cheap thrills, but at least I admit it freely, mwahahaha.

Pictures including Weilin in the next post, but for the meantime, I just need to BLURT and SHARE a super ultra big spoiler for the end of the book! (Yes I've finished it in abt 3+ hrs) So scroll down if you want to be spoiled. If not, look away NOW:

Dumbledore died by Snape's hands.

In shock over the book, and a little disappointed that it's so straightforward this time round. (Then again, maybe I've been reading too much Robin Hobb.) And it's not long enough, only 600+ pages! Just sent Yee Chong off a few min ago, she came over and crashed at mine. I can't really type coherently but it's okay - I've finally read the 6th book after waiting for YEARS, woohoo!

Off to bed! Happy happy happy!

Friday, July 15, 2005

rain, rain, go away.

Maybe the falling rain makes one prone to melancholia, and I'm filled with unwarranted and unwanted emotions which I yearn to purge out. As we all know, these would not be dispelled through excess consumption of intoxicating beverages - lesson learnt. *winks* The only outlet I have are my 10 fingers, which I either type or play on the piano.

I say 'play on the piano' because I am technically and emotionally unsound to make music, so whatever music I make would thus be irresponsible and simply, no good. I tried sight-reading the Waldstein sonata yesterday, which was pretty fun, but it lacked the magic, you know? The euphoria factor that's supposed to come together with making music: it's gone. Oh there were moments to be sure, but hardly sustained beyond a few bars.

Today, my granny asked me to play this god-awful cheesy piece called 'Sweet Bye and Bye' for her. My mum used to play it everyday for her when I was still a little kid. Being the ever-dutiful granddaughter I am, I went against all my principles (down with cheese music e.g. richard clayderman, puiiii) and played that it. She painfully sat down next to me on the seat as I tinkered on the piano. Past memories of a better time superimposed themselves onto the score before my eyes, a time where my feet dangled off the piano seat, a time where my mum would sing happy tunes to herself, a time where I still had a dog named Lucky, a time where anything else but 'contentment' was a foreign concept.

It's funny, but that lousy piece of cheese bought me a few minutes of elusive peace, peace which I haven't had for the longest time. This, despite knowing what I saw in my mind was false - it was only a memory, and we all know how memories and perceptions change with time and age.

And I smiled bittersweetly to myself, the kind of smile that comes about when something you both long for and dread has happened.

After this, there's no satiating the human appetite for more because it is attainable but no one said it would be easy, and I am forever doomed to search for that elusive state of mind.

Monday, July 11, 2005

this is it.

In the last dance of chances
I shall partner you no more.
I shall watch another turn you
As you move across the floor.

In that last dance of chances
When I bid your life goodbye
I will hope she treats you kindly.
I will hope you learn to fly.

In that last dance of chances
When I know you'll not be mine
I will let you go with longing
And the hope that you'll be fine.

In that last dance of chances
We shall know each other's minds.
We shall part with our regrets
When the tie no longer binds.

- Extracted from Robin Hobb, Fool's Fate.

I've been spending the whole week rediscovering Robin Hobb's Farseer and Tawny Man trilogy. She is a fantastic writer of the fantasy genre, and all of you should go grab one of her books and read it too.

I actually went to her book-signing in Borders, London when I was in Year 2, and I was soooooo excited that day I couldn't stop bouncing around my tiny Bond Street flat: just ask Sunsun! And how I wept like a baby after I had devoured this book (I hate goodbyes), but that's another story for another time. Anyway, I got her to autograph this very book 'Fool's Fate', but she spelt my name as 'Lynn'. Well, it could have had been worse. Imagine if it was 'Lin' or 'Lean'. At least I can scrawl a letter 'e' at the back. The other alternative would be to change my name altogether to 'Lynn' but I kinda like my name the way it is, so there.

And so. In the last dance of chances, it seems as if there was never a chance at all. No matter what I'd like to believe, my will is not God's will. No matter how much I want to believe that my life is solely my own, it really isn't. You can't be so irresponsible as to say: "As long as I'm happy, who cares? I'd do what I like." As we all know, life doesn't really operate this way, we are all bound to the family and social hierarchy, and there will always be matters that are out of your jurisdiction.

But stubborn ol' me am going to force it, and try to make things go my way - so no matter what happens, I've decided to do my Masters. This, despite knowing that my family comes first and that it's time for me to stay at home. So I try to persuade myself - I've got my first-class, I've got an offer from Kings, it'd be rather wasted if I don't give it a shot. It's now or never. I'm applying for the MOE grant, but with ultra-smart people like Shihua applying for it, there ain't no way I'm gonna get it. But it's okay, my folks won't have to pay if I take a study loan.

But all these do not eclipse the fact that I'll be leaving them again, and the family burden would once more fall on my sister's slim shoulders. (Am I just trying to run away for another year?) But I promise to make it up to them next time. Somehow, I will. I'll bring in big bucks (as a teacher? -snorts-) and make sure they live like kings and queens in future. Okay okay, like minor nobility then. Whatever it is, you get my point.

In the event that all these grand plans fall flat, forcing me to hide my face behind a mask of embarrassed nonchalence, I'd be heading to NIE on the 25th of July. Blimey, that place is really at the other end of the world. But apart from the lousy, stupid, inaccessible, idiotic, god-awful location, I won't mind starting life anew there. Switching back and forth from my London and Singapore life can be exhausting.

But I'll take it as it comes, one bite step at a time.

And sometimes I wonder: is Hobson's choice even a choice at all?

Monday, July 04, 2005

mackie's here to stay.

Mack the Knife

Oh, the shark has pretty teeth, dear
And he shows them pearly white.
Just a jack knife has Macheath, dear
And he keeps it out of sight.

When the shark bites with his teeth, dear
Scarlet billows start to spread.
Fancy gloves, though, wears Macheath, dear
So there's not a trace of red.

On the side-walk Sunday morning
Lies a body oozing life;
Someone's sneaking 'round the corner.
Is that someone Mack the Knife?

From a tugboat by the river
A cement bag's dropping down;
The cement's just for the weight, dear.
Bet you Mackie's back in town.

Louie Miller disappeared, dear
After drawing out his cash;
And Macheath spends like a sailor.
Did our boy do something rash?

Sukey Tawdry, Jenny Diver,
Polly Peachum, Lucy Brown
Oh, the line forms on the right, dear
Now that Mackie's back in town.

- Bertolt Brecht.

Hello again, Mackie. It's been a while.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

Old wounds hurt most, I learned this today, becaus...
She speaks, repeating the old litanies, of worn ac...
time skips
and it all comes together!
beethoven's symphony no.7 2nd mvt
again,
towards that something
In the alley of shadows and death
Masking Tape
another end of the world

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.