Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I got a call from Jo last night, about an accident involving a blown-off rooftop of a double-decker bus opposite Bayswater tube station. It's only 5 min away from home (I'm living somewhere equidistant from Bayswater, Paddington and Royal Oak tube station), and right smack in the middle between Jo + Lalang, and Vincent + me. Being the kaypoh Singaporean, I dragged Vinny with me to take a look at the rummage. I even took pictures of it with my camera phone, ha.

It was pretty much mangled (think 'Bus bombing, Tavistock Square, London, July 2005' all over again) and we all thought it was a bomb or something. Thankfully, it turned out to be some stupid tree branch (thanks to Lee Yang for the info).

But if it had really been a bomb (which we all thought it was), freaky might have had been an understatement. And yet, despite the close proximity to home, the news didn't really hit me. I might have as well been back in Singapore, for all the impact that the visual sight of the wreckage had on me. This apathy on my part, feels somewhat disturbing, and yet I'm not too bothered that I'm not that bothered by it. Am I making sense? I'd like to think that Vincent's right: it'd only hit me if someone I personally know is involved. Then again, I'm probably a sordid sadist at heart.

And I feel kinda sad that I don't seem to care about the could-have-had-been tragedy, or anything else for that matter. It seems as if after trying so long to steel myself against emotional indulgence, trying to fit myself into this ill-cast mold of being 'consistently apathetic', I have all too successfully adopted this demeanor. I have become what I desired. Now it's backfiring on me: I realize I don't want to be this stone corpse, part of the living dead you see walking on the streets, all those people with soulless pupils and empty hearts, I don't want any part of that.

Maybe I'm exaggerating under the influence of the dreary cold weather in London (absence of sunlight does funny things to you), or it's due to the drop in my blood's sugar levels (time for a muffin). It may well be the fact that I've got wee bit of homework to do. Your usual run-of-the-mill 4min 33sec presentation next week, a number of readings, new piano pieces to learn, dissertation topics, analysis of a trio sonata.. all due in next week. Very humdrum.

In any case, I'd moved into my apartment as mentioned earlier, and it's starting to look fairly cosy. My room's starting to get untidy, and that's always a good sign. There's nothing like a good mess to give your room some character, don't you think?

And also, I've discovered that oyster sauce and lots of cooking oil are the magic ingredients to making your food super tasty! You can't go wrong if you have those! And no, in case you were wondering, I've yet to burn the kitchen down. Yet.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

ear-ly in the morn-ing!
i shld be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky.
I'm tempted to write a "I'm that girl who..." post...
coming down and wretched.
ola! onslaught of photos!
contented sigh.
here we go again.
my body clock is attuned to london already.
there's no escaping my swayness!
revamped. a new beginning.

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.