Saturday, June 24, 2006

traviata, but none the wiser.

Favourites change from time to time. For example, my favourite piece used to be Verdi's La Traviata. Then, it was Mozart's K.516, String Quintet in G minor. Debussy's Pelleas et Melisande took over, followed by Schubert's Winterreise song cycle, Berg's Wozzeck/Lulu, Corelli's trio sonatas, but Mozart's Requiem kicked all that aside, before it was replaced by Verdi's Aida. Bach's keyboard partitas were always a very close second. And now, I'm wavering between La Traviata and Aida. Hmmm, I just realized that my favourite pieces are mostly vocal works. You'd think I'd have at least mentioned Chopin, and I do adore his works.

I suppose I don't really need to have a favourite piece really, but it just happens, you know? Very unwillingly, I subscribe to the detested notion of having a 'favourite', or many 'favourites'. Organized hierarchy rears its ugly head once more.

It makes me think about the concept of faithful constancy, and I marvel at my own changing tastes as time passes. Each time I realize that something new has replaced the old, I feel an incredible sense of guilt. Have I been unfaithful? But to whom? Have I betrayed? But who, or what did I betray?

And I listen to all these operas, where the characters profess undying love and eternal devotion to each other (most of the time anyway), and I feel a sense of cringing disorientation, an awkward dislocation within, that tells me otherwise. But the music is so convincing, and for a while, I believe, and after it's over, it ends there.

I think I'm far more 'spontaneous' than most [Dominic might term it as 'rash', or 'fickle' ;)], always making all sorts of reckless changes on my own, with nary a thought to the consequences. But it's quite strange - I can't deal with the changes that are not instigated by my own hands. What do you know? I'm an orthodox control-freak at heart. So much for being a free-spirited musician! Perhaps, there really is some truth in that tiresome slogan, that all musicians are perfectionists - and therefore, control-freaks.

Midsummer's Day on the 23rd of June has come and passed, what did you do to commemorate the longest day of the year? Why, I can't even remember the person who I was yesterday. I suppose this is what it means to grow old - without any trace of bitter regret, just tainted by that ochre tinge of resignation.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

london chronicles.
bitching fit.
i must be back in singapore.
priceless!
i really shld be.
Maria for the day; jumble book sale.
incredulous; happy birthday!
It's very strange. When you're desperately deprive...
in the dark with Murphy for company.
helpless.

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.