Wednesday, August 08, 2007

all of my own making.

Sometimes, you kind of wonder if there's anything sacred left, that you have not desecrated with your own hands. All the ties that hold and bind, are unfortunately, just that. They are as permanent as you make them out to be, which is to say, they have all been pre-condemned with an expiry date. It's just a matter of the circumstances which lead to the unveiling of the death sentence, and its subsequent execution.

These days, everything is temporal.

What is this prized notion of eternity that haunts me, that which is so elusive and ultimately, false? To be human, is to place hope in whatever you believe, or want, despite the insurmountable odds which are stacked against you. I wish I can repudiate it, purge it out, gouge it out of my flesh, eradicate it, but I can't. I am too weak to stop fighting, I am not strong enough to renounce hope.

For better or worse, I cling on to that very slim chance, taking the risk with woeful abandon, even though I know that I cannot afford the price if I were to lose. But that's just the way it has always been, and will always be.

I just hope (again, that damned word) that when the day comes for me to be tested, I will either pass beautifully, or somehow be able to tap on hidden reservoirs of strength within myself, to resolutely cross the uncharted waters.

Tenacity or sheer stubbornness, time will tell - and all in good time.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

drunken sailors blind sailing
the mysterious hand who deals the dice of indeterm...
A pair of chopsticks, with dancing flames for crow...
elegy; pavane.
at the first; facebook is addictive
To capture, and set free, to be captured, and neve...
i tried, but they won't open (or close)
biting down hard.
two out of many.
My sister and I cooked supper earlier (noodles and...

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.