Saturday, January 28, 2006

i want money to drop down from the sky; window displays at selfridges.

I've been spending loads of money the past few days. Yesterday, before CNY dinner with everyone at Holborn's Shanghai Blues, I popped into Foyles to buy a copy of (1) Harold Bloom's An Anxiety of Influence for my Analysis course. However, I ended up walking out of the store, grinning like an inane fool with (2) Peter Hill's Guide to Stravinsky's Rite of Spring, (3) Carl Dahlhaus's Foundations of Music History, piano scores (4) Chopin's Etudes op. 28 and 45, (5) Chopin's Nocturnes and (6) Brahm's Four Pieces Op. 119.

Damage - 70quid. (But students get 10% off!)

Then, I remembered that I needed to listen to Beethoven's Piano Concerto #4 for my Historiography course, and my copy's still at Danny's house (alongside with 95% of my CD collection), so I hopped down to HMV today. Bad move Lynne, bad move. Not only did I buy an entire set of (1) Beethoven's Piano Concertos #1-5 by pianist Mitsuko Uchida, I also nicked a copy of (2) Schoenberg's Gurrelieder and yet another copy of (3) Schoenberg's Verklarte Nacht. I must have at least 3 different recordings of the Piano Concertos and Verklarte Nacht by now.

Damage - 60 quid. It will probably go up tomorrow -I've yet to buy Schoenberg's String Quartets for Monday's Analysis class. Oh, so much listening to do! I'm in bliss!

Anyway, the main point of today's post are the pretty window displays at Selfridges! I got off the bus en route to HMV, and took a few shots with my camera phone.

Sorry, the pics aren't very clear. There were far too many people walking up and down past the window displays for me to get a clear shot. Do the last two pictures remind anyone else of the 'jiang shis', otherwise known as Chinese vampires? Just that they're suspended horizontally face-down. Where're the coffins? More information on Selfridge's window displays, including this one, can be found here, so do take a look. It's one of my favourite websites.

Taken at the car park in King's. SHO CUTE! This pic is only up because it's the Year of the Dog! Okay, off for CNY dinner with my favourite people. Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

Friday, January 27, 2006

it's been 250 years.

To my #3 favourite composer:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOZART! I promise to visit your homeland in Easter, and steal a piece of your gravestone to keep by my bedside for inspiration.

May your music continue to reign supreme (behind Bach and Debussy, of course) in all our hearts!

Related links:
A good write-up on Mozart
And another article on the same website
He thinks we should ignore Mozart
Some heavy reading on Mozart and Enlightenment
Masonry, anyone?
The best Mozart scholar in the whole world (he hates me!)

Thursday, January 26, 2006

like a black lamb led by the nose around the cheery altar.

I seem to have lost interest in documenting my life, feelings and thoughts in words. And that in itself, is quite paradoxical, isn't it? Especially since I know after making such a bold statement, I'd probably end up doing the opposite, and having to retract it in the form of prolific (and not necessarily quality) blog posts over the next few days.

That being said, I've been feeling incredibly stupid and naive for the past few days. Everything that I thought I knew, is now critically analyzed, and it fails the stringent test that I have put it under. Maybe it's time to for me to address the possibility that I'm not as smart as I thought I was *gasp, oh the horror*. All the steps and small sacrifices that I've ever undertaken towards my hazy objectives, the irrevocable choices made in the arrogant assumption that my judgment is infallible - could well be deviating me towards the much-despised ubiquitous mean. I hate that. Although, I reckon a more accurate description, would be - I fear that. Pride will continue to be my downfall.

Nonetheless, I'm starting to accept that I can never fully escape from any sort of social, historical, cultural or parental indoctrination, much less my very own self-imposed conditioning regime. The idea that I'm being fostered slyly and subtly, to think and even react in a pre-empted fashion, alongside with the consequences and their resultant spin-offs, now provokes only a leisurely reaction from me. In turn, my sudden capitulation and the absence of any form of resistance, becomes an object of pompous contemplation on my part- on a day which seems far too bright, with a cigarette between my fingers.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

i must be a wuss..

..because there I am, all decked out in full winter gear, wrapped up in the customary three layers, with jeans tucked into knee-high boots, wearing gloves and a thick scarf looped around my neck - and my teeth were still chattering uncontrollably! It's only a paltry 4 degrees, but I haven't felt this cold in ages. I mean, girls walking down Westbourne Grove were wearing mini-skirts with bare-toed heels! What's wrong with me!

This is a perfect excuse for me to indulge in more junk food. If you're fat, you won't feel cold. Or so, I will continue to tell myself.

I used to think that lifts, air-con and contact lenses were the best man-made inventions made ever. But now, central heating definitely tops the list.

Oh, sun and warmth, please come back! All is forgiven!

Monday, January 16, 2006

you have to hear this.

I don't normally post lyrics here, but I figured this is one exception I have to make. Thanks to Jo who introduced this absolutely fantastic track to me, I'm loving it! You can download it here.

Gabriel & Dresden ft. Molly - Tracking Treasure Down

I know this will be
Something I remember in my head
Something I remember

Sharp words push me back
Hanging on to anything I can
Anything I can

Why do you tell me
Only things I want to hear
Why don't you tell me
This could just dissapear

At the same time
You keep tracking treasure down

Cant stop I'm soaked tonight
Wanna find something I believe
Something I believe
Open up
Take me in
Makes no sense
Help me understand
Help me understand

Why do you tell me
Only things I want to hear
Why don't you tell me
This could just disappear

At the same time
You keep tracking treasure down

You tell me of pirate-ships and fairy-tales
You have me wishing that everything
Was real

At the same time
At the same time
You keep tracking treasure down
At the same time

Okay, it's time for school. First analysis class of 2006! I'm sleepy already.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

uh oh, this is not funny.

Okay, I think I've just spoilt the washing machine. I threw in Vincent's sheets and pillow cases, and let it spin for the past hour. It had stopped making funny gurgling noises quite some time ago, which is a very bad sign. It normally vibrates so violently in the kitchen, that I swear it'd register at least a 3 on the Richter Scale.

So I stopped watching Celeb Big Brother re-runs doing work, went to check on it. and lo and behold! It was stuck at 'Colours', and the power light was off. I gingerly opened the cover and clouds of scalding hot steam hit me right in my face. There's a funny smell too. The sheets are currently swimming in a puddle of hot water, and I'm reminded of a hot spring gone wrong. And the washing machine won't come to life no matter how many times I toggle the power switch, or kick it at the side. Brilliant.

Oh, Vincent is so not going to be impressed. Neither am I for that matter, and I don't even want to think what my landlord will say.

How much does it cost to repair a washing machine?

Update 10 minutes later: My kitchen is flooded. And did you know that clothes can smell burnt? You learn something new everyday.

Friday, January 06, 2006

lucid dreams, but i'm awake.

Do you ever have one of those really intense nightmares, where you know it's just a dream and yet you're so scared because it's too real, too real and you can't believe that you're asleep, that it's not taking place in your own waking notion of reality?

Remember my boogeyman post? I think I must have been more freaked out about it than I thought I was, because I just had the most awful nightmare. I'm pinned down to the sofa by an enormous weight, my lips painfully clamped shut by some agent of force. As I try to free myself, my limbs start convulsing in little dotted rhythms and I try so very hard to pry my lips open. But nothing comes out of my mouth, I can't even make the slightest sound and all I can hear are my own wheezing noises.

Jo's sitting in the adjacent sofa seat, and I try my best to reach out to her. But I can't move, I can't speak, and my chest is laced tight with such overwhelming fear at so many thoughts which I can't possibly voice out now, and probably never will. I manage to free my left hand and swing it towards her, only to find myself smack right back in my original position, arms locked and pinned to the sofa. Only then do I realize, that whatever happened before was just a dream, and what I'm going through now is real, and the cycle continues. Each time I think I've succeeded, I discover it's only a dream - and all of this is taking place within one nightmare.

I've never tried so hard to wake up from a dream before. You know how it is - you're conscious that you're dreaming and you tell yourself just move a part of your body, go on, just move it but there's this unnatural rift between the body and mind, and nothing happens at all - you despair at the thought that you'd never escape from this, you'd never be free, that you'd be trapped forever in this realm of sleeping thoughts, which can never be awakened.

I don't know what finally made me wake up for real, but I most certainly did. The nightmare left me disoriented for a bit, with a sour aftertaste at the back of my mouth. Jo told me that I was breathing really heavily (Darth Vader comes to mind), which was probably due to all my failed attempts in my dream(s) to speak. The time was 415am - I had only been asleep for 15 minutes. Within that short duration, I must have 'dreamt and woken up' at least 20 times.

Jo suggested that it could have had been my sleeping position which gave rise to my heavy breathing (I assure you that I'm normally a very quiet sleeper), and I was sprawled on the sofa in a pretty awkward position. Maybe overeating gives you bad dreams too?

Speaking of sleeping and dreaming, the telly's showing a whole host of has-been-celebrities asleep in bed right now - it's Celebrity Big Brother Live. At 0630hr, it's highly doubtful that anyone will pull any pranks right now. How boring. Time for some Haruki Murakami, and a nice cup of tea. Morning, everyone!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

shoo boogeyman!

Okay, you know what? To hell with the boogeyman! Literally! Here are some photos!

My very happy father beaming from all the female attention, I'm caught in the act - SLEEPING, and my pretty sister!

I had such a fun time with the girls this short holiday, I miss you all of you so much. Clubbing, our dessert party, singing Christmas carols, laughing and just chilling out.. it was great!

L-R: Euge, Cher, Steffy, Tian. Geks is the one with the red hat.

NYE was spent at The Balcony with The Sister, The Cousin and Emily. All of us spilled quite a number of drinks on the table that night. The white wine was the WORST. -looks meaningfully at The Sister-

L-R: Emily, Mel The Cousin, The Sister.

My last night in Singapore, of COURSE we have to eat supper right? We had too much food - stingray, satay, hokkien mee, fried carrot cake, dumpling, clams and chicken wings. And we finished it all between the four of us! We're horrible.

At Newton Circus.

I pierced my navel last Friday (the previous hole closed up), and it's kinda getting red and sore. Maybe I've been eating too much and the skin is getting too stretched. Hmmm. I've been seeing a lot of red recently. My navel is red, my navel stud is red, I was brushing my teeth this morning and suddenly blood gushed out from my mouth in one glorious spurt but I've no idea where the blood came from. I'd like to go into the morbid graphic details, but I'd spare you guys this time.

More updates to come next time! And Vincent, come home soon! Please please please please please!

spooky new year.

I'm over at Jo's right now, and have been for the past two days. London is surprisingly not as cold as I had expected. But that's alright, it's still cold enough to justify the mountains of food which I've been systematically demolishing.

Anyway, I'm not going to do the obligatory New Year post right now. A little freaked out. See, Vincent isn't home right now. And I felt something in my home. I don't know if I'm being oversensitive, or just plain paranoid, but I swear I wasn't alone in my Porchester Square apartment. Especially when I think I'm alone, or I'm trying to sleep in my bed. It's going to take too long to explain what I mean, but people-in-the-know would know what I'm talking about. I might blog properly about it next time, but there's something so concrete about typing it down, setting it in stone, as if words can breathe life and truth into what is happening, and it scares me that it might not be a figment of my overactive imagination.

It probably isn't, but I'll just try not to think about it. I'm quite good at ignoring, forgetting and shutting things out (forgiving and forgetting are two different issues), much less this... minor inconvenience.

Anyway, I'm not at home so I'm really away on MSN, so just leave me msgs. Hopefully my computer won't shut down before I get home within the next few days, and I'll get all of your messages intact.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

Old wounds hurt most, I learned this today, becaus...
She speaks, repeating the old litanies, of worn ac...
time skips
and it all comes together!
beethoven's symphony no.7 2nd mvt
again,
towards that something
In the alley of shadows and death
Masking Tape
another end of the world

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.