Sunday, March 30, 2008

not so much immune, but ambivalent.

There are so many things I want to do after practicum. Kind of counting my chickens before they hatch, huh. But seriously though, there are all the friends to catch up with, pieces to learn, music to listen to, and I need to start exercising, I'm no longer getting fat, but I am fat. Anyway, it's hard to do all that when one wakes up at 6 in the morning, and knocks off about 8 everyday. And now that one rehearsal's off, I have a new one coming up. That should provide some levity, in any case, including a fair bit of stress, but I don't count things like that anymore, the scales have fallen from the eyes.

Such is the sweet currency of life

Monday, March 24, 2008

the waiting game.

I have the book! Stormed Fortress by Janny Wurts! The book which I waited for years! SHRIEKS!

And I finished reading it in the span of two days (and managed to finish up part of my work before reading it, cue congratulatory pat on back). That a few years of wait can culminate in 611 pages..! Devoured in the span of mere hours, now I find myself back in the same place, waiting for the next book to arrive. Who knows how long it may take this time.

As with most things, I think I'm in for an interminable wait. Tapping of fingers.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

gesticulating wildly, long-suffering continuum

The book I've been waiting for over three years has been released since October last year and I DIDN'T KNOW! It's the conclusion to Arc III of Janny Wurts Shadow and Light series - Stormed Fortress - and it's not available in Singapore. Why! Why! Why! And knowing that I could have read it a long time ago makes me want to do silly things like jump on the bed with angst and chew off the corner of the math textbook (which I have utmost disregard for), but paper doesn't really taste good, tried and tested, so. Plus there's the gum to think about.

Back to Amazon, it shall be. At times like these though, I really wish I'm back in London. But only at times like these.

Until the next crisis, I suppose. Which should take place just about - now. There can be nothing more exciting in the world than writing lesson plans. Though I must admit practising scales will be a close second.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

that place one treads

i've been having nightmares of the future. the world's end. it's been going on for a few weeks now, so i can't blame it on the incessant headache i have at my right temple since the wisdom teeth extraction. the death of the world always changes though. it was rabid dogs last night, dogs which used to be human and they had flowing white silky hair. or fur. whichever. but the end is always cataclysmic in my dreams. but given our (or my) nature, how can it ever be anything otherwise?

on the playlist now, peter grimes:

let her who is without fault cast the first stone

and

old joe has gone fishing and
young joe has gone fishing and
you know has gone fishing
(something something) by the shore

i could never quite get the last line, but i can sing it to myself all day long.

and in passing, i can't believe it's already march.

Friday, March 07, 2008

the insidious invisible influenced

I have a mother of all headaches, like a sledgehammer pounding away at my right temple. But it's not as bad as it could be because I ate some chocolate today. What has that got to do with it, Everything, I say, and now I also have a tummy ache that could be due to gastric or too much milk, I can't really tell, and I don't even know where I came up with the idea that milk gives one tummyaches. I mean, I also ate bread today. Plain white bread. Deliciously bland until you dip it in milk. And last I checked, I'm not lactose intolerant, but I suppose I can always start deciding these kinda things today. Like how I can decide my birth date is on the 29th, my imaginary friend's name is no longer Belfiore but Peter, and the number of purple kitkats and rainbow-striped clouds I will have in my hands on the morrow shall be 0.197. Write the right, Right the write.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

restless and in pain = whinge post

Dental is over, now to ride out the pain and agony from not being able to eat what I want to eat. It's porridge and bread so far, how terribly exciting.

So this is my list of food which I want to eat when I recover, but not necessarily in order:

1. bak ku teh
2. zhu zhar tang
3. laksa
4. pancakes
5. cakes
6. scones
7. roast pork
8. hokkien mee
9. nasi lemak with at least three chicken wings
10. tang yuan
11. the chicken from malay stall canteen at NJ (Raaha, I know I just ate enough of that for three people yesterday, but it's not enough)
12. wee nam kee chicken rice
13. crumpets
14. yakitori
15. roti prata/murtabak
16. chocolate souffle
17. kitkats from the uk
18. fish and chips with lots of vinegar
19. english breakfast
20. quail's eggs - lots of them

I am so hungry and miserable.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

the past week or so, of the ties that hold and bind

I've never been so happy (towards the end) to make that connection, grasping at tendrils of a past time which somehow holds meaning in the present, and I ask myself just what that means, what that signifies, and how much (or little) of it is contrived, and why that should be so important a factor.

My world, as large as it seems to me, is still so small. In stark comparison to.

I will and must learn, for what other choice is there? In order to safekeep and guard what I deem to be of utmost importance. And with that, you invite the shadows in, for they are rightly twins, even if fathered by different faces, and then, the timeless battle.

blueprint

I will like to spend my days, as though they are my own, which I mostly end up doing in halves, for duty beckons, and I am answering its clarion call. Soon enough! I am also a veteran procrastinator.

fresh monodies

Old wounds hurt most, I learned this today, becaus...
She speaks, repeating the old litanies, of worn ac...
time skips
and it all comes together!
beethoven's symphony no.7 2nd mvt
again,
towards that something
In the alley of shadows and death
Masking Tape
another end of the world

previous rants

August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
August 2011
October 2011
May 2013

treatises on life

arty jen
betty boop
carmentica
charming-linn
chasing snowy cars
cheeky lynn
cheryliciously glam
clean and cute
cyclist-mad bass
darling dominic
feisty jing
fellow ditz-sista/porkSTAR
hail mary!
hell's kitchen
hero on the beach
h-Euge heart
hunky lenny
lipgloss queen
little cheryl
live n learn, baby
lolita lou
loony loon
mr popular
musically dan
m y s t j
phringe
princess tania
roger smurf
runaway pigeon
sabotage king jeremiah
sibling angst1
sibling angst2
spector dan
spunky tian
steffy bunny
sun-sunzzz
teeny wee-nee
weeeee, leonard!
yangtze yang'en

frivolous pursuits

for shallow ppl
for very geeky ppl
for the truly bored
spun prose
binary thoughts
past imprints
some stamps
montage of images
other memories

mulling over

And there were phlegmatic souls.